


Clicked Into Place.

by witchofblood



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Aro - Freeform, Aromantic, Aromantic Jake English, Hope, LGBT, lgbtqia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-13 00:25:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3360983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchofblood/pseuds/witchofblood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>GT: I envy you actually. Ive actually worried at times that i just wasnt capable of feeling that way about anyone.<br/>GT: And maybe thats why i was just meant to be alone. </p><p>Short ficlet featuring Jake English coming to terms with his romantic orientation, and realizing who he is is completely natural and normal!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clicked Into Place.

There's a certain kind of _je-ne-sais-pas_  about the people we aren't quite supposed to be with. We want to be with them, but no matter how much you push a puzzle piece, it isn't going to fit into the space you try to put it in if it doesn't belong there. It would bend, or maybe even break, if you just kept going at it out of human stubbornness. And that's what Jake English was right now. He was a puzzle piece, that desperately wanted to complete the picture.

Dirk was kind, and handsome, and he supposed he was lucky to have him. But it felt off from the very start. He should have taken that as the signal, to stop it before either of them got hurt by their careless romance--if it could even be called that. He didn't exactly feel what he would describe as romance towards the Strider. He didn't feel, well, anything that could possibly be interpreted as romantic. But Dirk did. So he knew he didn't fit from the beginning, but he was going to force himself to try to fit that spot. For Dirk's sake.

And...it went about as well as was predicted from the start. They ended that relationship confused and hurt and with edges bent and corners broken. The both of them had come out worse because of some mistake Jake had made, trying to force himself where he didn't belong. He couldn't help but feel guilty for feelings that were perfectly natural. 

He had told Roxy once that he never felt like he was made for the entire love thing. He just didn't feel it the way the rest of them seemed to. They seemed to have so much passion and want for intimacy and want for connection. Jake...didn't. But there was another place he just tried to make himself fit. And there was another place he kept hurting himself by trying to fit into.

And he knew he had hurt others through that as well. He was all too aware of that fact. It hung over his shoulders, keeping him down and making him feel incredibly alone. And tremendously sorry. He regretted it. All of it. If only he had stayed true to what he had felt in the beginning and not forced himself to belong, he wouldn't be in this situation. But, alas, here he was.

He couldn't go to Dirk with these feelings, not right now. And he especially couldn't go to Jane, not after hurting her as much as he hurt Dirk. He sighed, shaking his head, and looking at his three most contacted friends on his pesterchum contact list. Well, that left one option. 

GT: Roxy? Can I ask you about something?

There was not an immediate response, which made Jake stress. For what reason, he could not pinpoint. Maybe anxiety? Anticipation? A combination of those? He wasn't sure. A minute or so later, she responded.

TG: yeah? what's up? 

He stared at his hands, unsure of how to word what he was trying to say. He must have typed out at least three messages before he finally hit send. 

GT: You know that quirk I was telling you about quite a while ago? About the strange ways i find myself dealing with romantic situations?

TG: yeah of course. 

The next message was sent swiftly. He didn't even think about it. 

GT: Is that normal?

Her reply seemed to take forever. When in reality, it took thirty seconds.

TG: its completely normal, pal. 

GT: But you guys feel love differently than me, from what I can discern, and I feel like that makes me the odd one out. 

TG: Jake, its OK to feel things differently than us. 'specially love. 

GT: Really? 

TG: really! i actually think theres a word for that thingy.

TG: that not feeling romantic love thing. 

The next text came when Jake was trying to make a response to that. This was normal? Not only that, but he wasn't the only one who felt this bizarre way? It astounded him.

TG: jane says its called aromantic. 

GT: Aromantic?

GT: So thats what i am?? 

TG: if you think so, bud. 

He sighed, relieved. The puzzle piece wasn't struggling anymore.

He had found his place. 


End file.
